So a tweet by an author I admire about her fetishes inspired me to write about my fetishes. I don’t know if my experiences are typical or atypical, but they are my own.
If you pay attention to my twitter, there are a few things you might know about me. I’m divorced, I’m bisexual, and I like things that my 20-year-old self would have been equally embarrassed and disgusted to consider. I wasn’t always as sexually adventurous as I am today.
I didn’t lose my virginity until the end of my senior year of high school. Believe me, it was nothing to tell my girlfriends about giggling over some illicit wine coolers. His idea of foreplay was about a minute of pawing at and squeezing my breasts as he shoved his tongue down my throat. This was followed by maybe a minute of him on top of me grunting as he thrust into me, causing me a fair amount of pain, as I was in no way turned on when he shoved his dick inside of me. He left me lying there, not even halfway aroused, nowhere close to having had an orgasm, his cum dripping out of me.
This was our first disappointing sexual encounter, but sadly, it was not our last. I continued dating him for another three months give or take, and I let him do his thing about once a week. It never got better. Up until I dumped him, most of our nights involved more than his sad attempt at sex. We would go do something. Go to dinner, watch a movie, something. The last time we were together was the night I left him. He invited me over, we did have what he considered sex, and then he told me he had plans to go meet a friend. This was the first time I felt used. Yes, looking back, I know he was using me before, but back then I was more naive.
It was over a year before I got close enough to anyone to be comfortable trying to have sex again. I spent most of my mid-twenties meeting someone, dating them for a couple of weeks or a couple of months, and then breaking up. Most of the sexual encounters were okay, but none of them blew my mind. It took a while before found I someone who did blow my mind. I married that person.
At first, he made me feel special. He was eight years older than me. We were together for three months before we did more than kiss. Our first night together was amazing. It was my first time having someone going down on me. It was slow, it was passionate, and for the first time, I came from having someone else inside of me. I know it sounds cliche, but it was magic.
The magic lasted for roughly two years. It lasted about a year after we got married. It’s hard to put my finger on when the magic faded. The passion faded, and we settled into a routine that lasted for six years. We still had sex on a fairly regular basis, but it was rarely passionate. A quickie in the kitchen, half an hour in the bedroom. More often than not I would suck his cock but he wouldn’t eat me out.
Things went downhill real quick when he got abusive, claiming it was BDSM. No, I’m not claiming BDSM is abuse. But what he did was abuse. I won’t go into details here. That is not the point of this.
The one good thing that came out of the end of our marriage was a threesome he forced on me. No, I never saw the girl again. She was in her early twenties and was bisexual. I had never considered sex with a woman before. I did practice kissing with a friend in middle school, but that was the extent of it. I learned a couple of things during our threesome. I learned what it felt like to be eaten out by a woman. I learned what it was like to eat out a woman. And I learned that I liked it. The bad part of it was, other than telling us to do things to each other while he played with himself, and making us take turns sucking his cock, he spent the entire night fucking the other woman. Other than when I was sucking him off, not once did he touch me, or do anything to me. I left him a year later. After the third time he put me in the hospital. It took a lot of therapy and a lot of time before I could bring myself to let anyone even touch me again.
Yeah, this is supposed to be a post about one of my fetishes. I’ve never really thought about what my fetishes are. I know there are things I like, and things I don’t like. I know I’m into things that are probably considered deviant. But I’ve never really sat down and thought, do I have this fetish or do I have that fetish. I guess the most prominent one is power and control. Power and control are involved in a lot of different kinks and fetishes. But it is probably my key fetish.
No, I do not consider myself a Dominatrix. I guess I am a switch when it comes to being dominant or submissive, but it does depend on the person. I have one male friend, we don’t see each other very often, but when we do, I am putty in his hands. I am his to do as he wishes with, my body is his plaything. If he wants to put me across his lap and spank my bare ass, I lay there and enjoy it. I have a different male friend that I see from time to time. Our visits usually involve me flogging him, with the occasional foot worship and pegging. Most of my partners are women, and I am usually more dominant with other women.
Being a Dominant is one of my fetishes. The first time I explored it, was with a female friend of mine, Lacey. We had worked together at a coffee shop after my divorce. We were pretty good friends, had hooked up a couple of times, and we were both single. We went out dancing one night. When we went back to my place, we had a couple of glasses of wine and talked. She admitted that she had been texting her ex again, and was thinking about going to see him, to talk. This would have been the third time they ended up getting back together, and I knew it would only end up with him hurting her again, he was a chronic cheater. Instantly, scene after scene of erotica that I had read with a dominant woman in it flashed through my mind.
I told her, in a firm tone, that I cared for her, but was disappointed in her, that she should be punished for letting him almost weasel his way back into her bed. She looked up at me in surprise. When I asked her how she thought she should be punished, she bit her lower lip and told me to do whatever I thought was best.
I hadn’t really been turned on until that point. Seeing her bite her lip in uncertainty as she made the choice to submit to me, that opened the flood gates. A lot of things flashed through my mind. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do to her. I didn’t know the first thing about bondage, and other than a couple of vibrators and a dildo, I didn’t own any toys or anything for bondage.
I told her to stand up and take off all her clothes. Let me tell you when she said: “Yes Liz.” And then did as she was told, I nearly moaned. Once she was naked, I stood up and led her back to my bedroom.
Standing in the middle of my room, I looked her over. I never did understand why she stayed with someone that cheated on her. Or why she kept dating losers. She could have done a lot better. She was short, an inch or two over five feet, pleasantly curvy in all the right places. She looked amazing in a slinky dress. I could get lost looking into her bright blue eyes. I wasn’t sure what her natural hair color was. It was currently blond with red fox tail highlights.
At the foot of my bed was a padded bench, I had her kneel beside it and bend over it. I knelt beside her and rubbed her ass for a moment before slapping it. I didn’t slap it hard, but when she moaned at the sudden slap, I was hooked. I continued spanking her, gently, but slowly building up force. When I stopped, we were both so wet it was running down our thighs, and her ass was a very bright red.
I had her climb into the bed and crawled into it behind her after taking off my clothes. I held her body to mine and cuddled her. Later that night, we had mind-blowing sex, but that’s for me to know and you to fantasize about.
Lacey never did get back together with her ex. She stayed single for a long time after that. Though over the next couple of years, we explored a lot and learned a lot about BDSM. We still get together from time to time, when our schedules allow. And let me tell you, I have much more inventive ways to punish her, and many more toys to use on her when she is naughty now.